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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Friday, May 18, 2007 2:00 PM
suddenly felt the urge to blog even though my mind got nothing right now. today was late for lecture again. woke up at 8.45am! when lesson started at 9am! sigh. sleepless night yesterday, only managed to close my eyes at 4plus in the morning. wanted to change blogskin, but just could not find one that i wanted, that suit my feelings now. i'm at a lost, not knowing when to take the next step, not knowing what next step would lead me to and therefore, have no confident to walk it through.

sick. literally sick. havn't recover yet. but guess is getting worst. my stomach is not made of metal. so i think i'm getting gastric soon. must go back to my usual eating style. ONE MEAL PER DAY? sigh. hungry now. just finished a pkt of wang zai xiao man tou. =) long time never eat le. saw it at cheers so bought it. tired, not cuz didn't sleep enough. tired cuz of the things that are happening. rushing to be there for you, but when i got near, i realised someone else is already there. hence, i ran away to avoid being seen by you. but now, you really got to tell me what to do before my heart stop.

special thanks to huiping. thanks for your guidance throughout this period of time. we will always be good buddies.! one day, we will go out and play pool. but then i will shy. seriously shy. =)

sometimes,is hard to decide what you want. because one is afraid of regrets. i chose to let nature take its course because at least, i will be able to see a big picture and decide on what to do. will not hesistate to make any decision, because the longer i try to delay it, the more hurt one will get. often people say don't want to hurt another party. but they never realise that what they are doing are hurting too. what you did to me, really make me hate you. what is the past to you now? the past to me is nothing. i wish to remember nothing from the past. but thanks! though the memories will stay in me, but it will only appear in my mind when you talk about it. so stop asking me about what i used to think. i've forgotten..

yes. i believe i did promise you something. but it is too vague for me to remember. perhaps i fulfilled my promise? i don't know. but definately, my promise to the rest, to the one i used to wait for, to the future, it will be kept in my heart and fulfilled doing my best. because i realise how much it hurts when a promise is broken.

back is hurting now, head is spinning. teacher is nagging and scolding. felt so vexed. felt so useless cuz i can do nothing for you. * walking at a distance, to make sure you are safe and sound.*